Redskins Name Change? . . . I've Got Suggestions.

Native Americans want the Washington Redskins to change their name.  President Obama agrees.  Based off the current government shutdown, I've taken the liberty of offering up some suggestions for the team that calls our nation's capital home.  How about the . . .

Washington Blowhards? . . . Or the Washington Asshats? . . . No.  I've got it!!  The Washington White Trash Fatties.  Right, it's a little long.  Could be the Washington WTFs for short, though.

A-Rod Sues MLB . . . No Surprise.

Alex Rodriguez is suing Major League Baseball over their investigation regarding his steroid use and his involvement in the Biogenesis scandal.  He is taking the stance of "How Dare You Use Incriminating Evidence Against Me."  And this is why you suck at life, A-Rod.  Enjoy your seat on the couch during the playoffs.

Mayweather Beats Canelo Then Goes Back To His Other Job

In a dominant showing on Saturday night, Floyd Mayweather Jr. unified 154-pound titles and reached the 45-0 mark by beating "Canelo" Alvarez.  Immediately after the fight, Mayweather focused his attention on his other job . . . beating women.  We all know that women should not be beaten . . . except maybe for CJ Ross who scored the fight 114-114.  She is the same judge who stole a victory from Manny Pacquiao recently.  Dear CJ, get your head out of your ass.  If no other judge sees the fight like you see it, maybe its time to reassess your judging criteria.

Story here.

Sanchez To Have Surgery . . . Jets Fans Say "No Problem"

New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez is likely to have season-ending surgery on his injured throwing shoulder.  Commented Jets fans, "Don't rush back . . . In fact, have two surgeries."

http://espn.go.com/new-york/nfl/story/_/id/9663997/mark-sanchez-new-york-jets-likely-headed-surgery-labral-tear-shoulder-end-season-sources

Jaguars Get Destroyed By Chiefs . . . But, At Least They Looked Good

The Jacksonville Jaguars have new uniforms this season.  Apparently, the owners are trying to distract fans from realizing how crappy their team is.  The uniforms did not distract the Chiefs, though- Kansas City decimated the Jaguars in Jacksonville yesterday 28-2.  Don't worry Jags- Lots of teams put a "2" up on the final scoreboard . . . but they play baseball.

Story here.

Peyton Throws For 462 Yards & 7 TDs?! . . . STFU!!

The Broncos trounced the Ravens 49-27 thanks to Peyton Manning's golden arm which threw for 462 yards and 7 touchdowns . . . Yep, 7.  7 is also the number of episodes that will air before Lebron's new sitcom gets cancelled.

Story here.

Former Bear Urlacher Revealed That Players Would "Take A Dive"

Former All-Pro linebacker and Chicago Bear Brian Urlacher admitted that, when he played, they would slow down other teams by asking players to intentionally fake injuries.  In baseball, this practice is known as an "A-Rod."

http://espn.go.com/chicago/nfl/story/_/id/9634085/brian-urlacher-admits-chicago-bears-faked-some-injuries

UGA Receiver Gets Injured . . . While Celebrating?!

UGA Wide Receiver Malcolm Mitchell was injured during the Bulldogs loss to the Clemson Tigers this past weekend.  But it wasn't on a spectacular catch or a key block.  Nope.  Mitchell was injured while celebrating in the end zone after teammate Todd Gurley rushed for a 75-yard touchdown in the first quarter of the game.  Mr. Jones (John Witherspoon's character from "Friday") has a question for Mitchell . . . How the hell you gonna get injured on your play off?!

That one was for you, Dad.

http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/9625483/malcolm-mitchell-georgia-bulldogs-hurts-acl-celebrating-teammate-td

Pats Cut Tebow - Belichick Turns Out To Be The Devil

Tim Tebow was cut by the New England Patriots this week.  This confirms what we already expected . . . Bill Belichick is Beelzebub.

If cutting Tebow wasn't enough evidence for you, consider this-

1) Belichick cheated by stealing other teams' signals during Spygate

2) Belichick prefers to play on Sundays thereby distracting people from going to church and

3) Belichick is Miley Cyrus' real father

Aaron Hernandez Indicted For Murder

When Aaron Hernandez's family found out that he had been indicted for murder, they were distraught.  However, they were not nearly as distraught as the millions of Caped Crusader fans who just found out that Ben Affleck will be their new Batman.

http://espn.go.com/boston/nfl/story/_/id/9591709/aaron-hernandez-former-new-england-patriots-tight-end-indicted-murder-charge

Iverson Retires . . . Wait, Didn't That Already Happen?

Allen Iverson is officially retiring from the NBA which means its time to play . . . 

Things The Rest Of Us Knew That Allen Iverson Didn't!  Choose the correct answer!

A) PRACTICE makes perfect.

B) Being able to live comfortably after sports is more important than having a 40-person entourage.

C) Iverson stopped playing in 2010 . . . Which means he's been retired for a while now whether he likes it or not.

D) All of the above.

If you said "D" you just won a high five, a smile, and a butt pat from yours truly . . . Butt pat optional.

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/9590395/allen-iverson-set-retire-nba-report

Vick Named Eagles Starting QB . . . Duh!!

All eyes are on Michael Vick . . . Again.  It comes as no surprise to me that Chip Kelly gave Vick the nod as the Eagles starting QB for the season.  Would I let him dog sit for me?  Hell no.  Would I like to watch him play football?  Absolutely.  Did I want to have Mike Tyson over to dinner after he bit off Evander's ear?  Not really.  But he was exciting- just like Mike Vick.  Vick is still a great player and deserves his starting job.  Which is something that we can't say for A-Rod.

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/eagles-coach-kelly-names-vick-154749566--nfl.html

Did A-Rod Throw His Own Teammate Under The Biogenesis Bus?

A report by "60 Minutes" on the Biogenesis scandal says that A-Rod 's camp leaked the names of Ryan Braun and Francisco Cervelli, who just happens to be Alex's teammate.  A-Rod says its not true.  At this point, I wouldn't believe Alex Rodriguez if he told me that 2 + 2 = 4.  Would you?

Story here.

Let Pete Rose in The MLB Hall of Fame Already!!

Pete Rose said that he should have taken up drinking, or drugs, or wife beating because if he had, he'd still be eligible for the MLB Hall of Fame.  Crass?  A bit . . . But about as true and real as it gets.  In my opinion, using PEDs like steroids and HGH is worse than gambling.  PEDs get you a 50 game suspension (longer in A-Rod's case), but Rose was banned for LIFE.  He is the all time hits leader and deserves to be in Cooperstown.  Tell us what you think . . .

http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-pete-rose-gambling-20130813,0,3427538.story#axzz2btGkkhyK

Klitschko vs Povetkin. Finally, a boxing match to get excited about!!

The younger of the two Klitschko brothers (Wladimir), aka "Dr. Steelhammer" (badass nickname), will be defending his multiple heavyweight belts against undefeated Russian boxer Alexander Povetkin this October.  Why am I talking about boxing?  Because its the first time that a match I actually care about seeing has been made in the last decade.  Pacquiao vs Mayweather will probably never happen.  Dumb.  So unless Hayden Pantera (incorrect, but better) injures the "Ukrainian Sensation" (my nickname for Klitschko) during bedroom gymnastics, we should be in for a damn good boxing match.  What a concept!!

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/boxing/2013/08/12/wladimir-klitschko-vs-alexander-povetkin-bout-october/2644209/

Mike Trout Says PED Users Should Get Lifetime Ban from MLB

During a radio interview for New York's WFAN, all-natural Angels slugger Mike Trout said that players caught using PEDs should be banned for life.  Do you agree with him?  And A-Rod, all-natural means that he doesn't inject himself with stuff.

Story here.

Braves Have Won 13 Straight. Other stories involving 13 . . .

The Atlanta Braves have 13 straight wins.  Other stories this week involving 13 . . .

The number of Scientoligists who just happen to be following Leah Remini right now.
The number of times Bruce Willis has justified to himself that he didn't need Expendables 3.
The number of times over the legal limit Robbie Knievel blew on the breathalyzer after his "RV Derby."

Subscribe to SportSlam on YouTube today!  More episodes coming soon.

UFC's Silva To Bring In Norris & Seagal For Next Camp

UFC legend and former champ Anderson Silva wants to bring in Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal to help him prepare for his title rematch against Chris Weidman.  If Silva's goal is to learn how to pretend fight, I'm pretty sure he already mastered that art in his first bout with Weidman.

Story here.

Did Manziel Take Cash For Autographs?

ESPN did a story on Outside The Lines in which it seems that Texas A&M's Heisman winner Johnny Manziel took money from autograph brokers.  Manziel was captured on video saying things such as, "you never did a signing with me" and a broker can be heard asking if he would take "additional cash for special inscriptions."  The word additional, as we all know, implies that there had to be some money on the table to begin with.  The NCAA is currently investigating the quarterback's shenanigans.  Here's my question for you, Johnny Football- Do you think you're above the law?  Well, I have a news flash for you, Walter Cronkite . . . You aren't.  There is only one man who is above the law and that is Steven Seagal . . . Skinny Steven Seagal, not fat Steven Seagal.  Fat Steven Seagal would be too easy to catch.

Cruise With Baseball Greats

MSC Cruises will allow fans to rub elbows with baseball greats such as the "Bash Brothers." Unfortunately, the cruise line mistakenly booked Chris Brown and Bobby Brown.

Note- Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco are not actually booked for this cruise.  However, the article does tell you which MLB stars will be along for the ride.

Will A-Rod's 211 Game Suspension Hurt His Chances For The Hall of Fame?

A-Rod was suspended for 211 games.  Mmm hmm.  Will this suspension hurt his chances of making it into Cooperstown?  Even in the steroid era, I say it does hurt his chances . . . and I believe in the asterisk.  Go to www.sportslam.net and tell me what you think if you're not already there.

Story here.

Alabama State Champion Coach Fired For Going To The Wrong Church

Scott Phillips lead his East Memorial Christian Academy boys to an Alabama state championship in basketball, the school's first state title in any sport, and lead them to the playoffs on the football field.  But that was not enough for East Memorial officials who expected Phillips to switch churches once he became the school's Athletic Director.  Phillips didn't like the idea of switching to East Memorial Baptist Church because he was loyal to another church.  Sound reasonable?  To me and you, yes.  To East Memorial officials, no.  They fired Phillips and became an example of what I believe a cult is.  In a cult, you have to buy in all the way or you're shunned . . . Don't ask me how I know that.  Take Scientology for example- those people are nuttier than Amanda Bynes- they want commitment to the level that you will shun your family if they don't share your beliefs.  So Congratulations, East Memorial officials- you taught your kids the wrong message about loyalty today.  And somewhere Tom Cruise is jumping up and down on a couch.

Story here.

Peterson To Break Smith's All Time Rushing Record?

Can Adrian Peterson break Emmitt Smith's all time rushing record by 2017?  Nope.  Break it?  Yes.  By 2017?  No.  He would have to average 120 yards per game . . . In the second half of his career.  Not gonna happen.  If you have thoughts on this, lay 'em on me.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000223295/article/adrian-peterson-predicts-when-hell-top-emmitt-smith

A-Rod Wants To Be A Role Model

Alex Rodriguez said that he wants to be a role model . . . "No thanks," commented America.  We'd rather look up to someone who doesn't cheat and can at least tell if they have an injured leg or not (looks fine here).  Instead of offering to BE a role model, Alex, I recommend that you GET a role model.  And his name is Derek Jeter.  Dude homered on the first pitch he saw after coming off the DL.  And he's not a tool.  And he probably doesn't own boat shoes.  Or pop his collar.

http://espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/story/_/id/9522777/alex-rodriguez-tells-sports-illustrated-wants-role-model

Brewers Owner Offers Vouchers To Loyal Fans

Milwaukee Brewers owner Mark Attanasio is offering Brewer fans a $10 voucher for tix, food, and beverages if they come to an August home game.  The reasoning behind the generous gesture is to try and "mitigate a trying summer."  In light of Ryan Braun's recent actions, I say he should go halfsies with Attanasio.  After all, he still has plenty of money that was earned before he got caught cheating, right?  Braun?  Braun? . . . Anyone?

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/9518562/milwaukee-brewers-distribute-10-vouchers-august-games

Rich Fronig wins 3rd consecutive Crossfit Games Title

Rich Fronig just won his 3rd straight Crossfit Games Championship.  Not familiar with Fronig or the Crossfit Games?  Mmm, you will be (said in a Yoda voice).  The Crossfit Games combines the strength of a power lifter, the endurance of a marathon runner, and the agility and athleticism of a gymnast.  So that makes Fronig the world's best athlete, right?  Maybe.  If you watch a Crossfit Games broadcast on ESPN, thoughts such as "Are these people being punished for something?" or "Does the winner get to live?" or "Please help them- that looks like it hurts" will cross (no pun) your mind.  There is one word to describe these competitors- machines.  So that makes Rich Fronig the Terminator, right?  Possibly.  So then what would you call Rich?  For now, let's just go with all around badass.

Check out videos, stats, and standings at http://games.crossfit.com/.

Mahan Leaves Canadian Open . . . While In the Lead?!

Hunter Mahan had a 36 hole lead at the Canadian Open this weekend.  Then his wife went into labor . . . and he left.  What?!  He just left.  Yes, having a kid is an important, life-changing event, but my wife would have slapped me on the butt and said, "You'll meet 'em on Monday.  Go make a million bucks so we can literally pay for this child."  Go to www.sportslam.net and tell us your thoughts on this.  Full story in link below.

http://espn.go.com/golf/story/_/id/9514092/hunter-mahan-leading-canadian-open-withdraws-wife

DDP Takes In Two Broken Souls- Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Scott Hall

Read this Deadspin article first.  It's awesome . . . especially if you're a wrestling fan.  Wrestler turned yoga master Diamond Dallas Page took in Scott Hall and Jake "The Snake" Roberts, two former wrestlers who have been in and out of rehab numerous times, and is holding them accountable for their actions.  The author poses the question, "Has Page sold them a false promise for the purpose of strengthening his personal brand and selling yoga DVDs?"

Judging by the fact that

1) Both Hall and Roberts haven't been this happy or healthy in a long time,
2) DDP's business was doing fine without them and,
3) They were all instrumental in each other's careers

I'd say DDP is doing what family does- picking them up, dusting them off, and putting them back on the right track.  So if there are any other questions about DDP's motives, I've got two words for you, the author, and anyone else . . . SUCK IT!!  Story here.

Titans Rookie Saves Family From Burning Car

Former Clemson Tiger and current Tennessee Titan Jonathan Willard rescued a family from a burning car on his way to Titans' training camp.  Obviously, this will not be a slam on him.  Good job, sir.  May goodwill find you for the rest of your days.  HOWEVER, to the mom that was driving this vehicle down the road while it was already on fire or at least smoking heavily, you had 3 kids and a dog counting on you to deliver them safely to their destination.  You are proof that people should have to get a license to become a parent.

Story here.

Rodgers Crappy Twitter Bet

Think you know your friends?  Yeah, well Aaron Rodgers thought he knew Ryan Braun enough to "bet" his $39.5 million salary on Braun's innocence regarding using PEDs . . . He was wrong.  These days we have too many people in all sports that turn to bottled performance.  Sad and sucky.  Who is/was your favorite athlete who broke your heart by cheating?  Story here.

Florida LB Arrested For Barking at Police Dog

Florida Gators linebacker Antonio Morrison has been arrested . . . again.  This time he went to the clink for barking at a police dog, but in his defense it was a Bulldog.  Story here.

A-Rod Scratched From Rehab Start Due To "Tightness in His Thigh"

According to ESPN, A-Rod was scratched from the Triple-A Scranton lineup today due to "tightness in his left thigh."  He left for NY to get an MRI, but there is no word yet on whether doctors will diagnose him with a hurt pussy. Story here.

Brady's Secret Weapons???

Umm, this dude at Yahoo Sports has an interesting definition of a secret weapon.  Does he really think that Aaron Hernandez and Wes Welker can be replaced by the likes of Shane Vereen?  If Shane Vereen is a secret weapon, I'm Batman.  Story here.

New NHL Schedule to Include Metropolitan Division

The +NHL released its new schedule which includes new divisions. Who thought of the Metropolitan Division? Will the players have to show up in cardigans carrying Starbucks lattes?  Story here.

Racist Idiots Rip Marc Anthony for Singing at the MLB All Star Game

Dear morons who ripped Marc Anthony for singing at the All Star Game, . . . you're retarded.  One asshat even told the singer to "get out of his country." Anthony was born in NY and is Puerto Rican.  And for the record, Puerto Rico is a US Territory.  So next time you wanna unleash your fat, ignorant mouths, make sure you at least know what you're talking about.  Story here.

Bobcats Change Name to Hornets . . . Again

Really Charlotte?  How about sticking with one name.  With their upcoming name change (back to the Hornets), the Bobcats are now officially the "Prince" of the +NBA . . . I just released some doves while "When Doves Cry" plays in the background to highlight that joke.  Story here.

Culpepper Loses Miami Home

Dear +NFL players, learn how to save your money.  The bank recently foreclosed on Daunte Culpepper's $3.6 million house in Miami.  So maybe while you have money coming in you should put more of it in the bank.  And no, I'm not talking about the club you used to frequent called "The Bank."  Story here.

Hernandez Has Been "Polite" in Jail

In jail, Aaron Hernandez has apparently been "very polite and very respectful."  I, myself, prefer polite murderers. I mean if you're gonna kill someone, it's best not to be mean about it.  Suck it, Hernandez.  Story here.

Nike Needs A US Map

Damn, Nike.  How many people looked at this and signed off on it?  Not enough.  Check this out.

SportSlam 2.6

Published on Jul 15, 2013

SportSlam is the next level of sports infotainment. Combine SportsCenter and Tosh.0 and this is what you get! We rip on whiny athletes and celebs because we know that's what you like and, in the end, we just wanna make you happy.

SportSlam 2.5

Published on May 6, 2013

SportSlam is the next level of Sports Infotainment. If you combine SportsCenter, Tosh.0, and troll magic, you end up with our show. We verbally assault rich, whiny athletes and throw in weird celebs for good measure.

SportSlam 2.4

Published on Apr 17, 2013

SportSlam is the next level of Sports Infotainment. If you combine SportsCenter, Tosh.0, and troll magic, you end up with our show. We verbally assault rich, whiny athletes and throw in weird celebs for good measure. Subscribe to our channel and share with your friends. Cheers!

SportSlam 2.3

Published on Mar 19, 2013

Tired of Professional Athletes and celebs skating by unscathed? So are we. That's why we slam them every chance we get. Think of it as Sportscenter meets Tosh.0. You're welcome.

SportSlam 2.2

Published on Feb 14, 2013

Know what we here at SportSlam love? Slamming sports figures. So enjoy some of it, right slamming now.

SportSlam 2.1

Published on Jan 28, 2013

Welcome to Season 2 of SportSlam. Chad Fishburne continues his hard hitting brand of sports humor.