Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Redskins Name Change? . . . I've Got Suggestions.

Native Americans want the Washington Redskins to change their name.  President Obama agrees.  Based off the current government shutdown, I've taken the liberty of offering up some suggestions for the team that calls our nation's capital home.  How about the . . .

Washington Blowhards? . . . Or the Washington Asshats? . . . No.  I've got it!!  The Washington White Trash Fatties.  Right, it's a little long.  Could be the Washington WTFs for short, though.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

A-Rod Sues MLB . . . No Surprise.

Alex Rodriguez is suing Major League Baseball over their investigation regarding his steroid use and his involvement in the Biogenesis scandal.  He is taking the stance of "How Dare You Use Incriminating Evidence Against Me."  And this is why you suck at life, A-Rod.  Enjoy your seat on the couch during the playoffs.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Mayweather Beats Canelo Then Goes Back To His Other Job

In a dominant showing on Saturday night, Floyd Mayweather Jr. unified 154-pound titles and reached the 45-0 mark by beating "Canelo" Alvarez.  Immediately after the fight, Mayweather focused his attention on his other job . . . beating women.  We all know that women should not be beaten . . . except maybe for CJ Ross who scored the fight 114-114.  She is the same judge who stole a victory from Manny Pacquiao recently.  Dear CJ, get your head out of your ass.  If no other judge sees the fight like you see it, maybe its time to reassess your judging criteria.

Story here.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Sanchez To Have Surgery . . . Jets Fans Say "No Problem"

New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez is likely to have season-ending surgery on his injured throwing shoulder.  Commented Jets fans, "Don't rush back . . . In fact, have two surgeries."

Monday, September 9, 2013

Jaguars Get Destroyed By Chiefs . . . But, At Least They Looked Good

The Jacksonville Jaguars have new uniforms this season.  Apparently, the owners are trying to distract fans from realizing how crappy their team is.  The uniforms did not distract the Chiefs, though- Kansas City decimated the Jaguars in Jacksonville yesterday 28-2.  Don't worry Jags- Lots of teams put a "2" up on the final scoreboard . . . but they play baseball.

Story here.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Peyton Throws For 462 Yards & 7 TDs?! . . . STFU!!

The Broncos trounced the Ravens 49-27 thanks to Peyton Manning's golden arm which threw for 462 yards and 7 touchdowns . . . Yep, 7.  7 is also the number of episodes that will air before Lebron's new sitcom gets cancelled.

Story here.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Former Bear Urlacher Revealed That Players Would "Take A Dive"

Former All-Pro linebacker and Chicago Bear Brian Urlacher admitted that, when he played, they would slow down other teams by asking players to intentionally fake injuries.  In baseball, this practice is known as an "A-Rod."